English 101

English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and 3 quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages, it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

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Just some pictures I thought some of you might to like to view.

ROCK ON!

The bobster

Check out my new mystery video.

YOU KNOW IT'S 2008 WHEN..................

Saw this on the Internet. Thought was interesting and true.

01) You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

02) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

03) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

04) You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

05) Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

06) You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

07) Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

08) Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10) You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11) You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

12) Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

13) You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

14) You actually scrolled (looked) back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

LIFE

At about 2215 Hrs., 20 FEB 2008, I get a call from my daughter, "Dad, I want you to know I'm OK." Huh????, I reply. "I flipped off the freeway, but I'm OK!

I asked where she was, I grabbed my wife and we left for the location. I didn't think it was very serious mainly because she sounded so calm over the phone. When we got to the location we saw that her car was upside down on the freeway on-ramp. Apparently the car started to shimmy (wobble) and she lost control and went over the embankment, rolling a couple of times, landing on the roof. No one on the freeway stopped. Passers-by on the surface streets assisted her out of the car.

Not a scratch on her, not even from any flying glass. No muscle pains the next day.....nothing! What I found out later is that she had called me while she was still strapped in her seat hanging upside down in the car. Absolutely no hysteria ---------- her voice was just as calm as ever. Even after we got there she remained calm and collected.

We waited over 30 minutes for the highway patrol to arrive. A passing local PD unit observed the overturned car and asked if anyone was hurt. When we replied no he couldn't believe it, seeing how badly the car was damaged. Even after the highway patrol arrived they kept asking her if she was absolutely sure she was OK.

The Lord is definitely looking out for her. We can be gone so quickly. As the saying goes, we are just a heartbeat away from death. She could have been killed, but she wasn't. None of us know when or where we will pass away, or by what means. All of us will, however, have to go through that door sooner or later. Since we all must enter through that door wouldn't be wonderful if we entered knowing we felt right before God. Having no guile against anyone and showing love and service to all? Since that event is sill in the future every waking moment should be geared toward charity and love unfeigned toward our fellow man. May the Lord preserve and protect us all.

How was your day?

Death Reflection

A little reflection on the recent funeral for the SWAT Officer in Los Angeles that was laid to rest. It is indeed a tragedy to all who knew him, worked with him, etc. One cannot diminish, or speak lightly, the death of another. Another death occurred recently as well. This was the death of a known terrorist, one of the chief principals of several terrorist acts. Was his death any more tragic, or do we celebrate his passing and dearly mourn the policeman? Both died by violent means. Both had families and loved ones who mourn the loss. How can one reconcile these two similar, yet very different deaths? We live in a Telestial world. There will be wars and rumors of wars, death, destruction, hate, etc. There will also be love, happiness, joy, respect, etc. Just a little reflection on death. Have a nice day.

Ready................Set...................

Welcome to my little corner of the world. This is my first attempt at Blogging. I like to write, however, I don't have much time at it, but I thought I'd give this a go.